-|*SaNCtUaRY*|-

Life is as it is.

Many always compare their lives with others. Good or bad. They just love comparison so much.If there’s one thing those people love doing other than pin-pointing and gossiping, comparing is another " past-time" they enjoy doing..

Is it our competitive society that " nurtures " this absurd behaviour? Or is it by nature practice? Well, seriously, I really can’t put a finger on that.

I’ve been to one of my paternal cousin’s wedding which was held at a hotel in Sentosa. Often, events like this one, would be the " gathering-ground " for those people. It would really be a bummer if you happen to be having nine of those sharing a table with you.(*10 in a table) Frequent, there’s only one ass sharing the table with you. For my case, one is enough.. She is a lot worse than all those you’ve met and knew. Venomous, bossy and always poke her nose into every conversation that has nothing to do with her. Gawd ~ Well, this was one of the best wedding I’ve been to. Why? I actually have had a participation credit !! Lol. It’s an " honor " to be able to put those ass in a frown and crossed their arms and for a moment or two, fuming in silence. HAHAHAHAHA.. Nothing is as good as that ! haha..

I was just advising my uncle’s heavy smoking and bad drinking habits. She just have to poke her nose in. Say I was disrespectful and my uncle shouldn’t have doted me, shouldn’t participate in my upbringing when I was young. Wth?! SHOULD I JUST WATCH HIM SMOKE, WATCH HIM DRINK.. TILL SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS AND SHE PIN-POINTS AT ME SAYING " if you care, you would have stopped him from all these torturous habits. "

Care, is to stop the one you love from torturing himself. To change his habits. To help him in the process.

Call it disrespectful. Whatever. Haha. She is so not worth respecting.

The no.1 listed in billboard you wouldn’t wanted to mess with.

It might not be a divine meal, but surely was an entertaining, rollercoaster ride, one of those nights you can put your arms high and scream.. lol.

P.S: For those people who has serious bad drinking and heavy smoking, please stop giving yourself excuses for not quitting. It’s never a bad time to quit.

What I did was just shooting back at her till she’s seething in her crossed arms, shaking in anger. I love that sight. Perhaps in the past, I might be in fear. BUT I HAVE GONE THRU THAT METAMORPHISIS.

Deep Cuts

I thought being young has an advantage to everything. I guess not.

I flunk my o’s, due to my injury. Got into a local private business school. Picked things up quickly. And thought I will not see another "Fail" in the report card. I failed the subject I was confident in.

Since secondary school, I picked up maths concept quickly, but somehow when there’s a twist to the question, I got stuck. And unable to do well. I can never undo the knots.

The day before the exam day for quantitative method, my brother and my bf taught me. The pressure of not able to undo the knots just got to me. Slowly, I found myself drenched in tears, sweat and mucus. Ok, that’s gross. lol.

I’m a coward. I tried to runaway from my exam. When I reached the polyclinic, then I had stomach aches. The doctor diagnosed me having food poisoning. Such coincidence. Should I even be glad? Ha, I do not know.

I ran away again. The supplementary paper for the subject I thought I’m good at. Ha. I’m really a coward. Keep on running away. I ran away from NAFA. ‘Cos I couldn’t stand myself not being as talented as the others.

I hated myself.

Someone told me before, I was irresponsible and think that things is simple.
Yea. To me, things is just either A, or B not A or B then it’ll just be C. Things just wouldn’t shape into a D or E. Oh c’mon.. LIfe is like an equation. Just know the right set of formulas and apply them respectively. How hard can it be? Applied the wrong one? You’ve learnt a lesson, then try the next formula. Just keep on trying till you get it right.

But how many chances are to give before you even got them right in time?

I recently been to an interview. It’s a big respectable firm in Singapore.
I got trashed badly. Reality hit me real bad. You just hoped you died there, than living through it. Got humiliated. But, I’ve learnt big from there. Despite it hurts.

People just love to be picky. They sculptured a certain expectation. You happen to qualify them. They started digging the dirt and throw them at ya. Right at your face.
My dirt happens to be my cowardice and my O’s. I thought by holding at least half a Diploma and with an experience of servicing customers, it’ll be an advantage. DEH .. WRONG.

So, I’ve made up my mind. I decided to resit my O’s. No more being a coward.

Hopefully, this would turn out well…

I won’t bury my mistakes under the carpet. Having to learn my mistakes, and improved not just the situation but also, on the whole, improved myself as a person, is a satisfaction growth of maturity.

By posting this here, I’ve already taken my first step.

Have you?

They are like RATS AMONG THE SEWAGES AND OTHER DARK HIDE-OUTS.
THEY fight among themselves. THEY BEHAVE LIKE ANIMALS.
ALWAYS GET AWAY WITH CRIMES THEY COMMITTED. YET they are so adorable.
SIGH… I Give Up.

Today’s entry is to thanks delconi for leaving a comment. thanks.

Hope you’re doing fine ^^

Seeee you SOOOOOOOOOON.

Cheers